So this last week was quite challenging. I am posting late for last week as I was not able to do so last week. Every year our family takes a trip up to a small mountain community for Halloween. The place we go has about 80 cabins in the Sequoia national Forrest. Everyone decorates their cabin and we do fun activities like pumpkin carving, costume contests and of course trick-or-treating. We always have a great time and my little ones love it. So back to the challenges of the week… one of them just walked in as I am typing this blog.I woke up at 2 AM and figured I would write my blog post since i could not sleep and mt tooth hurts, more on that later, as i am just getting started my 3 year old walks in and is soaked in pee. i of course had to stop and clean him up and settle him back down but here it is almost 3 AM and i have written very little and have to type with one hand with my laptop precariously balanced on my lap while i rub a small tummy. This has to be part of my old blue print. When I am not at work I am constantly tending to my little ones and it is like rowing up stream or walking in peanut butter to do anything other than care for them during my off time.
Ok… Lets try this again. It is now Wednesday at 10PM PST. I was unable to complete the blog that I was working on above as my son woke up. It is curious that my children seem to need my attention just as I begin to work on something like this, even when they are fast asleep. I have been pondering that and the mysterious source that never sleeps (much like small children). In any case I must be pulling these distractions towards myself with my strong belief that I am overwhelmed and do not have time to do anything for myself. I guess they say that admitting you have a problem is half the battle.. but figuring out how to retrain yourself is the more challenging part! So I turn this problem over to god, the univers, my higher self, Buda, Jesus, Zeus or any other deity, magic power, spell or Geni that is able and willing and affirm here and now that I DO have time to complete blogs, write and re-write DMP’s, do my reading, meditation and still find time to cuddle my children, fix dinner, clean house, brush my teeth and work 40+ hours per week (crossing my fingers and wishing the universe the best of luck in figuring that all out!) oh and universe, since I have you on the line, I would also like time to sleep if you can fit it in! 🙂
Ok in all seriousness, last week was pretty crazy. It was Halloween week and holidays are always the busiest times of the year for us moms. In addition to our normal work load we are also expected coordinate holiday activities. Needless to say the time vampires were sucking me dry. Every time I turned around there were things to do until it seemed impossible to complete all the tasks needed. Out of necessity some things had to be shuffled around and unfortunately the MKMMA course got its share of cuts. I had been keeping up with my assignments but now it is mid week 6 and I am still playing catch up. In addition to the time constraints it seemed that my mood darkened a bit last week. My inner monster came out and I found it increasingly difficult to maintain my normal cheerful disposition and found myself feeling quite glum and even a bit depressed. I did the readings and meditation but I did not feel the same passion and it was not quite as uplifting. I even found myself starting to feel that this was all useless or that since I was falling behind maybe I should just quit, after all I already had enough going on without an added workload. I hung in there though and by the end of the week I felt my spirits begin to lift. I think one part of my inner mood shift was due to physical pain. I went to the dentist on Monday and had two teeth prepared for crowns. When I got back home and the numbing wore off I felt immediate pain that was more than just discomfort. My whole jaw ached and I knew it was a nerve and would likely require a root canal. Still with several crucial projects going on at work for the end of the year and my upcoming family trip to the mountains for the holiday I did not have time to go back to the dentist. So I was left with dealing with the pain and self medicating with Advil over the long weekend. I reflected on the statements of pain in the first scroll and vaguely wondered if my constant repeating of comparing pain to failure had manifested this pain as a way to align with my failures of my immediate past in business. I noticed that when I felt more moody or upset the pain seemed to get worse and was more acute. I meditated on the pain and practiced sending love and compassion to myself and soon after the pain would subside considerably. It really makes me wonder, as humans, how much control we really have over the pain in our body through the thoughts and associations we have. In any case I had a root canal done today and even though I am sore and on medication I am feeling much better. While I was up in the mountains I had some inspiration about how to really clarify my DMP into more immediate steps and goals. I began writing from this moment a path forward and created some very practical SMART goals for myself towards my business. With my new goals and new inspiration I am back in the groove and getting things done!